Beluga Manning Retiring

Everyone knows Peyton Manning is really a beluga whale. He’s retiring, and going to live out the rest of his days teaching the other cetaceans at Sea World how to improve their game with HGH (and how to cover up it), as well as how to sexually harass women.

About Joshua Schofield 3 Articles
Joshua Schofield is a Waltham, Massachusetts native, a UMass Amherst Grad, and a current resident of Dallas, Texas. His favorite teams are the Minutemen, the Red Sox, the Bruins and the Patriots. He is starting to like the NHL Stars and Dallas FC, but he doesn't think he'll ever like the Cowboys.

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